You have't heard of me if ya have't red a little publik journal called Bourne's BIG Trip, but if you do or don' it aint no matter. A nice little lady named Becky Bourne is editing this, so she might take out this and exaggerate it or make some stretchers, but I never knew nobody that didn't do SOME stretchers, 'cept my minister or somethin', perhaps. Any how now I begin how I went to Hannibal, Missouri, a pretty little sleepy old town who's main draw is the Mark Twain house. We traveled there in a black jeep, and as we were a bumpin' and a tumblin' into town, I was taking in the ole atmospheres. It was mighty interesting, with all the nice old buildin's and river boat things. The Mississippi one of the biggest rivers I ever seen, with great trees and grass and bright blue water moving slowly along as though in a dream or somethun, with it turning and twisting all the ways down. You could't really see the end where we were, but you might be able to see the end, perhaps, but it is BIG as this trip(get it?) and I think it might take forever to get down. Anyway we were a bumpin and a tumblin' and going along, when we saw a a Sub-way, and we went and had a little sandwhich, which tasted hmmm hmmm good, and I can still taste the fresh ingreadiants like it still there. Only down part is it was as cold as the North Pole, and so I was very un comfortable. I tried a movin and a movin so and so, but to very little result. Then I had a smart idea as much as if I was a professor, to go out into the open air. So I a excuse myself as is polite to do, and told out my whereabouts. Then I a went up and left out of the place, and warmed up outside, being now fairly comforable, but there was a down part to this two! I had no place to sit, but I had done worse before, going into tiny spaces and doing things for my Pa and Ma that was reely hard. I tried two back into the wall and such, but it didn 't feel good. Oh well.
By and by we got in the jeep and left, then went down some streets seeing some more buildins and such. We saw a buildin with a sign 'sayin Mark Twain Museum, and it was pretty big and industrial kind of. We didn't go to that, 'cause a sign says you should a start at the Interpirtave Center, so we parked in a parking place on the ole hill which wasn't two big, and having a little pretty building in front, sayin' Mark Twain Interpretive Center for boy home-thats not the real sayin, but it's good enough, you know- and it had a large stand with a map by it. Through a garden, courtyard, and under an arch and such. It was pretty nice and pritty too. We went into the inidon'tknowtherest. A big lobby was shown to me as I came in with a large big desk of the museum sort, you know, with a nice( I want to say nice looking, but not the BEST I've seen) lady with blond hair down and a pretty pump body. Her name tag was: Valory.(speeled wrong probably) We got our little pink tickets, and I was mad they was pink, 'cause you know no boy don't like pink and I bet Twain don't like pink either. Anyway we went into a little musuem, and learned about Twain and his life and his parents and his brothers and sisters and dead cats and such. Very interesting, kind of in a way. We learned about him being born and all, and some I knew 'cause of me reading his books and his book about him(for a change) but some I did not know and think they make up 'cause I didn't know about it. We learned about his nice mama Jane somethun, and his pap who was a judge or somethun, I don't really know for sure, 'cause I don't care about him as much as Mr. Twain. I saw that he liked to play and go into caves and do things of that nature, and learned how he always got to trouble and making his mother touch bats and things and stealing candy and other things. Then sadly, to my sadness, Twain grew up, and I saw him become a printer when his pa croaked(died, for you city folks) and learned the trade and things. You know then after a while he 'came a river boat guy, and did some stuff that was really exciting. I wish I was boat pilot, that would be a lot more fun than this writin' businness. Sorry if I offended a you. Mr. Twain( sadly now he was a Mister, cause he became an adult!) Anyway, then his brother Henry died in a big blow up bad thing, and and he was all burn and scorch, so he a look liked a dragon or a monster or somethun, very sad and scary and sad. Mr. Twain was very sad too, and I think he cried, but he might not've 'cause boys mostly are two manly to cry, but on occasion it okay too. I don' know 'cutally. I learned how he went o'er west of the great river 'cause his utter brother Orion got a cool job in being Gov. or stuff, and so Mark Twain did stuff that every boy envies a lo't, like mining and cowboying and being in a new paper and even going to Hawaii, the land o' Paradise! Very interesting. We then saw a timeline telling about the rest of Twain's life, but they don't focus on that so much 'cause they take care of his childhood and earrly grown-up time, but they don't do the rest 'cause the peop'le at Twain other home in Hart ford Connecticet(speeled wrong) do that part, 'cause that's where he spent time there. We then saw like things that made him make charecters like real people he made characters, and like so. He made reel people in his books, basing them off of his friends and such. We talked to Valory and she saw I like Mark Twain and so she, the nice lady, told me about a lady in the museum her name is Cindy, she said, and she like Twain too so she would like to talk to me 'bout it. She said she were on the top floor of the museum, and so I thanked her and went to the toilet. Then we left and went and saw a sign sayin Huckleberry Finn's house, and so we went off up a hill in that direct tion. It were a nice ole little house, white kind of with a ole roof and such. We walked up the hill and went up on a ramp and went into the house, but my pa he almost hit the ceiling, you know, and it was low clearance. Me being a kid I was alright, but not him, you see, cause he almost hit the ceiling, and it was low clearance.
We walked in, and it was really small, with a fireplace and a big area and then seperated by a wall was a little kitchen all the kitchen stuff, you know. We saw little things sayin' stuff about a kid named Tom Blankenship, the envy of all the other boys, being unwashed, ignorant, and insuffeirentsly fed, as Mr. Twain welly puts it. He was the disgrace of all the mothers though, and he didn't had to go to school, you know, and learn civil things. Mr. Twain he used Tom as the model and inspiration of his charecter Huckleberry Finn, and he got the first name(too hard to repeat again) from a plant called a (I'm not sayin' it) and Finn from the town drunkard, you see, 'cause that was his name. I learned how Tom used to steal chickens and turkeys and such, and did time in the jail for that. He later when he became a grown up(stupid fool) came to Justice of The Peace in Montana, he did, you know. It was mighty interesting. I wish I was uncivil. I really do.
We walked on down and went through another big building sayin' continue a here, and we walked in and what was funny was pa looked up to make sure it wasn't no low clearnacne! Onest truth! It was very delightful for a boy, you know. Anyway we went in and there was a little hallway with a gift shop at the far end and a door sayin' to continue there. By this time I was really done with bein bossed around like so and so I didn't follow the rule and went into the gift shop, but my plan were cut short as my ma told me come. So I come. I went through the doors and we saw Mark Twain's boyhood home. The inside of it, you know. It was pink! I was gonna scream, but I knew it wasn't polite to do so so I don't! But it were pink! All the room walls was pink, all of them was painted like that, rightly as I said it. It was a disgrace. I was so mad at Mr. Twain, and I expressed my anger and my ma, she red me like a book, and she said what wrong. So I said that I was mad it was pink and she said Twain probably didn't get to choose the color! He didn't! But he's so great and famous and rich and such, I said to mom, but she said at the time he was only a boy like me! And so I now understand why it said boyhood home, 'cause he was a boy in it! Now I l0ooked more at what was there. There were a big living room that had chairs and couches and such, and a little dining room and kitchen too. It was cool to see all the old stuff, and then we went outside and saw the outside part of it, and it was white of wood and windows that were blue and such. It was mighty pretty, and we went up these stairs and went and looked into the upper part of it, and me saw his bedroom with the little bunk bed, and his older sisters bed in another room. Twain have a window in his share room, and it's pretty cool to saw that. We also saw his ma and pa's room, and that was a lot bigger and better than the others, even though these were good too. We then went into the little gift shop, and I buyed one book by Mr. Twain, 'cause I like him, you know. It was called a tramp out there, or something of the sort, the other last word is very much too hard for a boy. After we saw Twain house we looked across street and saw Becky Thacther house(really Laura Hawkins, Twain's love, but he change her to Thacther in his books.), but we cant go in 'cause it's under rennodontknowtherest. We also saw his fathers Judge house, and it was little with chairs and a fireplace. We finally see Grant Drug Store, but it was also closed for the hard word reason.
We left, and we go down to the end of the street and took a picture with a statue of Tom and Huck, you know, and it was a very good one. Then clumb a lot of steppps, and we went up and it was mighty steep, you know, like a million or stuff.
Well you see these was a stopping resting place, and their I over looked the town of Hannibal. It was really pretty town, probably a good place to live in, you know, with the river right beside it. It was reely pretty, and all the buildings of Mark Twain glittered in the sunlight. Nice view.
We went up and then saw the Lighthouse done in Twain's honor, 'cause it was white and he like white. My pa and sis they went the easy way, lazy people, by driving in the jeep and such. We went in the jeep on the long way down though.
Then we didn't go into the museum, you know, but we did go to the Mark Twain cave, the cave Twain played in and the cave where he came up with his stories of Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn finding the treasure stuff, you know, and where Injun Joe almost kill Tom, you know. We drove a long way, and then park in front of a little building and we walked in, and the people sayed the last tour is goin' in about 15 minute you know. We payed and such, as is required, you know, and then we was lead into a little room with a T.V. screen, which told how the cave was formed and such and then how a man named Jack Jones found the cave and he went through the discuvery way, a little area you squeese down. Then it went over all the rules, to follow the guide and not go down seperate passage ways and all the other stupid rules. Then it said enjoy and stopped talked.
We were lead by a young, large, black- haired lady, and she got a flash light from a counter an' took us to outside and told us rule again, and it was annoying, you know. Than the lady she opened a large opening sayin' Mark Twain cave, and we got into it. It was dark and dreary, but a little shown light to by bulbs in the rocks and the flash light. She told us not to go down the passages, not to be like Tom Sawyer. I wanted to, but decided not. It was really scrary and creepy, and it was all horiontal with skinny opening all around us that were all black. We kept on going, and saw above us signitures even as far back as 1813 that were signed on the ole' roof. They were made from paint or were carved. The lady she said you couldn' write anymore, and that made me a little sad, to my sadness. We after that saw a lot of cool formatons, like really cool mites and tites and rock stuff. One was called the Alligator, where it look like alligator. Another part we saw a love seat which was a cool rock bench thing which Tom and Becky sat on!
At 'nother part we see Alladin's Palace, which was a rock thing that look like a palace of Alladin. Mark Twain named it!
Then we saw other things, like in a big rom that was really big the guide turned off all the lights and we were in total dark ness. It was crazy, you know, and so dark, like an evil man's heart.
We even saw where supposedly Injun Joe chased Tom and Becky and such, and it was mighty interessting. Then we did a lot o' other cole things, and then we left. It was reely really cool, and I loved to do it, you know. It was a fun time at Hannibal, and I lerend a lot. I wish to go agin. Thank you for listening to me, ole' folks. Now, i'ts back to normal talk agin. By!
Well, Hannibal was very fun, and it was very interesting. I'm sorry if my Twain writing wasn't good or didn't give enough detail, but I enjoyed doing it and that's all that matters. I probably won't do it again, though, at least not in this blog, only because it was "mighty hard!" Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed. Hannibal showed me that one little kid rose to promincence in the world, and taught me to keep going. It also showed me how much Twain's life was like his characters, and that many parts and people became new in his books. Also, it was really cool to see where the man grew up, his house, his cave, his museum, and his city, Hannibal.
-Andrew D. Bourne.
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